i dont understand how some fries can be longer than the average potato
so I ended my english presentation with “these fatal flaws brought macbeth to his macdeath” and at least 60% of the class groaned
no one ever started rumors about me at school because nobody knew who i was
(Source: shavingryansprivates)
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
(Source: nprfandom)
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
OMG
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
aren’t we all just Toys in this Story we call life
my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks suPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen
update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, “i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY”
AWW
radish is a really accurate name for a vegetable because they’re pretty cool but they’re not that cool
if you don’t come home and immediately either take off your pants or change into pyjamas then i’m sorry but you’re living life wrong
I hate it when you’ve been really on edge for a while and then you have a breakdown over a little thing and everyone thinks that you’re getting super upset about not washing your hair
